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Older and Wiser

By Tamika Morris


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Memories struck her as she heard the hit from the 90's

play.  She realized she was one of those people who

look back on their school days now, not one that was

still having them. It made her 'mixed' gladness but

sadness as well. She remembered the circle of friends

she once had and now only one remained.  Events

breaking the life times friendships that should have

been were so small but big enough. She reached out

and clicked the keyboard writing to her lost friends.


She'd always keep their emails addresses, and phone

numbers for that matter, but using something is a lot

harder than keeping it.  The longest letter unfolded

before her as she realized just how much has happened

in a short while. Not all good. Not all bad, just life

she supposed.  Different to what her imagination had

led her to believe... disappointing at times. But then

far better than the crazy ideals of Hollywood she had

always envisioned for herself... foolish dreams.  She

knew the realness life can bring. And that there are

different dreams to go for... she saw all her points of

view in the letter before her... not yet address to

anyone just her life so far.  Reflecting, it seems only

yesterday these things happened could it really have

been so long.  She supposed that's where the

expression "life is short" came along. Not in the

moments that drag out before you but in the memories

that seem to cloud together.  Moments in her life she

wished she could forget others she wished she could

better recollect.


Was this growing older, remembering the past and

growing, or moving forward despite?  Was growing

getting over those people you once knew the ones that

were always with you?  Why must we give them up, why

must that be a signal that you getting older you let

go of things that once matter so hugely to you.  And

settling.  Settling. That was getting older, because

you didn't go for those silly dreams when you could

have, could have actually achieve them, but you didn't

cause older people called them just that, dreams! And

now older she must deliver that same messages to

younger that they are just dreams and to settle. This

was the cycle that would continue, kids letting go

cause of no encouragement, letting go of such

importance to get on with everyday life which is not

fulfilling just filling in the days until you're so

old and full of regrets you can't even move anymore...


She addressed her letter and sent it to all her old

friends, not missing a single one... foolish dreams of

them returning her email were not so foolish as one by

one they did.  Her eyes were set upon different lives

and different events, and only one who was still

struggling to achieve his original dream. But she

didn't discourage she was proud someone had stayed

true.  If for no other meaning, the meaning of life is

to be happy to live.  How can settling be living? How

can letting go be living.  So many thoughts a simply

song had brought and she tried to find the original

thought that had gotten her typing in the first place.


Ah yes... "I wanted to be a singer when I grew up, this

song was what inspired me" she remembered.  As she

looked around the office around her with an air

conditioner that made thumping sounds, and coffee or

home brand Variety, she thought this wasn't the life

that was imagined.


But I guess this is getting older