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St. Nick's Outlaws

By Jim Colombo


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Copyright 2001 Jim Colombo


 Chapter 52



Brother Justin was concerned about the drug culture that was emerging in the


schools and coffeehouses in the city.  It was hip to talk about Panama Red, or Acapulco


Gold, and take a hit in a coffeehouse, at a friends party, or while cruising the city in the


privacy of one's car.  Brother Justin hadn't forgotten the distinct smell when he visited his


friends in Boulder Creek in the Santa Cruz Mountains, and now he smelled that fragrance


in the bathrooms at St. Nick’s.  There was an underground culture emerging.   Drugs had


invaded his school and he was going to defend his school and the students.  He would go


to the main library to find more information about Marijuana. 


The main library is by the civic center of San Francisco.  On one side are City


Hall, the War Memorial Opera House, and the Performing Arts. The Tenderloin district


with flophouses and bars lines the other side.   The main library is one block from a


black tie to the black hole of the city.  Brother Justin went to the second floor of the main


library to the research section, and began looking for information about marijuana.  He had


found two books and a comfortable chair, and began to read.  After a while he felt a stare


from the right side. 


“Well hello.  Do you remember me?”


“Why yes, ….Rusty?”


“Good memory, Frank. 


Brother Justin was wearing jeans, a sweater, and tennis shoes.  He had met Rusty


in November last year, about he same time he discovered Bill.  Brother Justin knew he


wasn’t a typical novice at Mount La Salle, but couldn’t accept that God would call a


homosexual man to join a religious order.  Men of God are celibate and don't have those


feelings.  But Brother Justin did have those feelings when he saw young tone men in tight


clothes. The demons of lust were temping him more often.  Brother Justin was made of


flesh, not stone. He was losing the battle.


            “Wow, Frank.  Marijuana.  Are you a toker?”


            “Excuse me?”


            “You know man, take a hit, bow weed.”


            Frank felt very uncomfortable and ignorant.  “The reason I have this book is


because I don’t know what you're talking about and I should.


            “Why, man?”


            “I’m a high school teacher.”


            “What subject do you teach, Frank?”


            I’m an English teacher……composition, grammar….freshman stuff.”


            “I dig.”


            “I’m sorry?" said a perplexed Frank.


“Like I understand, man.  “Wow, where have you been in a cave?


            “I guess so, Rusty.”


Brother Justin realized who much he was out of touch.  He could read about the


surface of the drug culture, but not know it as well as those who made the scene.  They


were what was happening.  This culture, the drug scene, was attacking the students of


St. Nick’s.  How could he defend them from an enemy he knew little about?


Rusty was impressed with Frank’s physique, and saw Frank as a stud who


appeared to be a powerful lover.   Frank was forgetting about Brother Justin, and had


noticed Rusty’s glances had become stares.  Frank enjoyed being admired by a man who


had touched that spot once again on the dark side of Frank that Brother Justin fought to


suppress.  Rusty could offer more knowledge than any book,  the knowledge that could set


Frank free of Brother Justin.  Frank was accepting rather than fighting the demons and


Brother Justin was slipping away.  Rusty was like the Seiren’s tempting refrain in Ulysses


that filled Frank’s mind and senses.  Bill had called Frank a coward when they were


roommates at Mount La Salle the time Bill had challenged Frank to find out if he was


queer.  Then Frank could live his live accordingly, not a lie as Brother Justin.


Frank was putting Brother Justin at risk.  His world, his way of live, and all that he


believed would vanish if he succumbed to Frank.  But if Brother Justin surrendered to


Frank he gained a new live with love and exciting experiences with men like Rusty.


            “Hey, Man, you drifted off again.  You did that last time. Are you spaced out, or


do I bore you?”


“I’m sorry Rusty, can I buy you a cup of coffee?”


“Maybe some other time, man.”


“Frank sensed that Rusty was upset.  “Have you ever had lunch at Blume’s in


Maiden Lane?  They have tremendous Chocolate Fudge Sundaes.”


“Alright, Frank you got me.  I’m a chocolate junky.”


Frank was not sure if that was good or bad, but was happy that Rusty accepted. 


Frank sensed a void in his life.  Religion may have filled Brother Justin's life, but Frank


was captivated by the world that lay out side of St. Nick’s Rectory.


“Great.  How about next Saturday at noon? “


“Frank. I don’t get off until six.”


“Okay, then dinner at Blume’s.”


“Far out, Frank.”


Frank took Rusty’s expression as a positive. “Yeah, far out Rusty.”


Rusty’s supervisor began walking towards him with a familiar look of disdain. 


“Later, Frank.  Major dick head is coming this way.”


Frank was confused again.  Rusty began walking a way from his supervisor and


stopped when the man called him.  The supervisor approached Rusty, and lectured and


gestured to Rusty, while Rusty looked the other way.  Frank could tell by the supervisors


body language that Rusty was getting reprimanded.  The supervisor walked a way after


reaffirming that he was still the boss.  Rusty went to the men’s room.  Frank wanted to


apologize to Rusty for getting him in trouble and entered the men’s room.  Rusty had


urinated, then turned, and displayed his erection to Frank, startling him.  Rusty began to


unbutton his shirt.  Frank was captivated.  He stood and watched with lust.


“Hey, Frank, you did it again.  You spaced out on me.”


“Sorry…..  Sorry, I have been taking a medication for allergies, and it spaces me




Frank had fantasized a vision of an erect Rusty.  Rusty walked from the urinal


and began to wash his hands.  Frank splashed cold water on his face.


“See ya Saturday at six at Blume’s for dinner,” said Rusty.


“Sure.  Blume’s at six.”


“Later, man.”


“Yeah, later.”


Frank left the library and took the bus to Ellis street and walked the two blocks to St.


Nick’s Rectory.  He stood at the door and felt the demons churning inside of him.  Brother


Justin entered the Rectory and felt different leaving  Frank at the doorway.  Frank was no


longer welcomed in Brother Justin's body.  Brother Justin had crossed to the other side and


couldn't come back as he once was.  Frank had abdicated the vow taken at La Salle, and


was free of the religious baggage carried by Brother Justin, who now felt the void left by


Frank’s departure.  He felt a loss of control.  He felt vulnerable. 




More next week...