"When you teach your son how to pray and obey God, tell him at least once, to go during the prayer time through and into the streets and see that many people do not pray and they also do not hold the qualities of religious ethics, so he will not be psyched by the illusionary generalization that everybody is good like himself."
They met each other in one of the Amman cafés.
"Every time I call you, you complain about your work. Can I help you?"
"I do not think that you have helped more than of my helpful theories."
"We go back again to your ever lasting hobby. Theories. You must not theorize anything before it becomes an idea, to be able of taking actions about it. Look around you; this is a respected stupidity.”
"I am busy these days in calculating the payoff matrix within the obvious game at the work.”
"Talk about something I can understand; the obvious calculation is irrational. The only payoff I can understand is your salary.”
"If I told you what theory is behind my behavior at work, you would laugh at it.”
"OK, you have said the non calculatable laughing. Obviously, why you don't abandon this? Although I am skeptical about your definitions, tell me the joke.”
He collected himself and stood up.
"You pay!" he told his friend with his eyes nearly closed.
He went into the street. A lot of things were there.
One of the sidewalk sellers was arguing with a person who seemingly wanted to buy something.
"We will not argue with each other about the cost. Just come and see it,” the seller told the man.
"How this could be; tell me first how much you want for it.”
"It is original, and I guarantee it will last more than two years. Look to its trade mark. It is an original watch.”
"Always the same words. I saw the watch will and I assure you it will not last until the next week.”
"Then why you are arguing with me?"
"I am on the street, standing in a place which belongs to everybody, and I do whatever I want.”
"Go away from here immediately.”
"This is a street for all people and, if you repeat these words again, you will spend your night in hospital.”
"Please be my guest. Hardly will I find somewhere better to spend the night. Give me the best alternative and send me to the hospital.”
The other man left the seller and kept walking.
"This is surely not a zero sum situation," Kamel said when he passed the seller, glaring at the watches. He believes that buying a watch is like buying a hand gun.”
"All the line of management, top to bottom, is against me. I need to feel safe.”
"What have you said?" the man looked to Kamel and asked.
"Oh no, nothing," he was about to say. "I am talking to myself." But he stopped.
Although Kamel usually looks for whoever talks with him as a reasonable person, at certain times he is far away from this description. He walks talking to himself. Sometimes his eyes look angry, directed into the know where. Others think that he looks to someone. He does not like to make an instantaneous or spontaneous action. He always likes to calculate things, or more precisely plan them. As the game theory is the other sides' strategy, he uses their payoff matrices.
"What is my next move?"
"Every thing about game theory is not helpful. I cannot make anything of reason."
"The company behaves like another playing person, not an institution."
"The optimization is missed everywhere."
"I am lucky I have a baseline rational thinking; otherwise I will go into chaos."
"I have an advantage over the opponents because of my background."
"I can manipulate anything but my control is limited."
"I think the solution is a rude attack."
This is the never-ended brainstorming he goes into before taking a view.
What is the theory? I can see one when it exists. The attack must go unnoticed and the information distribution must be tightly controlled. Tighter management does not know anything other than what I present, so for them the whole struggle could go unnoticed.
"The Rollit must stop while everybody is awaiting its result; I must convince them that it still moving. This is pure magic; if needed, let it be Black magic. Nobody should know that it is stopped. If that happened, the game will stop and this means I should be lost."
The game must go on even if it is really has ended.
For hours Kamel was discussing himself and arguing his premises. Most of the time he reached a no action result. But at this particular rude attack, he decided to go on with it.
"I must begin, but rudeness is very will identified in mother language and if there is any response of any type, the attack will be stopped."
"I will write my preliminary attack in English; they will never discover a tone reading it."
"Stepwise attack will succeed if done like that."
"Hello Kamel where you have been?"
Kamel discovered that he was in front of the building where he lives at Haj Ramez and was sitting looking to the street and watching the neighborhood.
"My son Kamel. You are like my son. Do not behave like that; you are not there. Everybody will think that you are insane."
"Thank you for your advice. I will try to be conscious but it is an extremely loose life."
"You are like most of the young people in this country. It is a very strange habit."
"I do not know how with this impression about me I can win any social game."
"I must cheat."
"Can I cheat from their strategy?"
"Their adopted strategies or their theoretical strategies."
"They are totally different."
"They should adopt only one strategy, optimization. This is only related to payoff matrix calculations. Then I must convince them with a cooperation or a positive reflection. I must be different to them; they have the game theory and I will have the sin theory."
"Serving their personal interests on the expense of the company's."
"If it turned into a pure intent without corruption, game optimization, I will sweep them with my shit."
"What I should do next?"
The following day Kamel went to his work as usual and forgot everything about the situation."
"You are here; you should go to the training course."
"What training course are you dancing on my wounds?"
"I am sorry but I thought that you have been to this course."
"Why you do not go to the manager to make things better?"
"A prostitute which is bought from the street should not be proposed to in a party. This is the cheated idea I want. A completely compatible idea. Thank you Mr. (laughing at); a garbage man is a garbage man. I do not forget my profession."
"This means that I should fit the situation to the strategy, not the strategy to the situation."
"I cannot come up with deductive conclusions; every thing must be carefully planned without."
"If there is some kind of understanding or cooperation, this whole situation will be dissolved, but I see concentration of stupidity, with extreme emphasized intent of hurt."
"If for a moment I did not feel that God supports me I will …"
When he mentioned God and realized the meaning, he thought “If God is not at heart, then he does not exist at all and my strategies should count for that, during all reactions."
This internal dialogue in Kamel’s brain mind never ended.
Eventually he is lucky and everything worked for him.
"I serve your interests and the general manager likes you and seeks your benefit."
This kind of words he always hears from the area supervisor but he has never trusted him.
Do not look to their words. Instead look to the weapons they use. If they want your benefit, then why are they not promoting you.
This is what he tells himself after every conversation with one of the supervisors.
"What is this transfer application you have sent to me?"
"This is the best I can do."
"The municipality management does not like this language."
"I do not care."
"You should be careful, for those people do not have a religion".
"It is very obvious."
"What is your model of Arabian management?"
"A school without students."
"Do you see any rationality anywhere?"
These words kept him alive since then, where they continuously thought that he was really insane, despite all his interactions.
He entered the office.
"What a silly people. One can do anything he wants, just knowing what to cheat about," he told himself.
After a minute the section head entered.
"You have been given some work before your transfer. I will continue with you; those are your orders."
"Actually I don't remember what you are talking about. Give me some time to remember." This was one of the wisdoms he had learnt from those people. Do not give what you did not take.
He went into the streets thinking.
"I thought, after I had accomplished what I want, I would be able to relax, but here I am now searching for an answer to a question I don't know what is. I feel a need. What is it …"
"Why you don't just fire this frog, Kamel?"
"It will not satisfy my revenge on him. He will easily find a solution and another work. He is of the kind of people never concurred by demand."
He added: "Listen, I will show you what I will do with him."
He pushed a button. "Bring Kamel here for me now; when he is out let him stand in front of the door. Tell I say have something to say."
"What you intend to do?"
"I will make him stand for an hour and then I will order to make his work watch at early morning in the camp."
"This is the worst place and the worst time. There is no watch for this condition."
"I will invent it for this frog… Ha Ha.. heeee!"
"But he will not be able to reach the place; he will not find a way to reach the place or leave it."
"Also it is dangerous."
"Do you think so?"
The other man said, "He deserves it; don't show any mercy?"
"Go to your watch and when I want you I will call. Keep your ears working. I want tomorrow’s news on my desk today."
The watchdog left the office of the municipality instructor and went out searching for tomorrow’s news.
Meanwhile, Kamel was setting in front of a roofless room. The air was a little cold, but he sat not realizing what was going on. He remembered his family in Egypt, his country, a long way away.
All that he had done to reach this place had ended with nothing. His graduation day constantly speared his mind. A dream kept coming to him in his sleep. He kept dreaming that he had returned to his school and he was repeating the general exam again. Sometimes he couldn't go back to feel reality and he thought that he hadn't really passed it, but the need to join the work kept him on time.
"Go for the rubbish, rubbish."
"The rubbish once was a coin you garbage," Kamel thought.
It was the end of work that day and Kamel preferred to go into the streets, walking to his roof. It was a long way. He tried to capture some kind of understanding but he failed. He did not think that money was the problem; it was the mind.
He reached his room and sat in front silently without changing his clothes.
A man entered from down the stairs and walked to the shelf, glaring nowhere.
"I said to you that I do not want to see you again. Don’t you understand?"
"Of course I understand, but you do not see the opportunity I gave to you?"
"What opportunity? I do not want to see your face or hear your words ever again."
"You will get money, much money. Just give me the information I asked. This is a fortune spring."
"What information you want about a child in kindergarten?"
Kamel interrupted…… "Do not use my accent. You are not like me or from my country. This disguise does not work with me. Get lost."
"Give me infor.." he interrupted.
The man got fifty dinnars out of his pocket and threw it to Kamel.
Kamel held the fifty dinnars and without hesitation tore it … threw it in the air.
"This is your money!"
"You were talking about religion and divine and this time you are coming with money."
"It is war and we must get to victory anyhow."
"Victory over children."
"They have parents and those we intend to harm."
“…..Breaking their hearts over their Children."
"They do the same to us."
"I am not a part of all of this."
"Why you do not go to the police now?"
"No one replaces Zombie with Mr. Dracula."
"I can make you rich."
At this point Kamel felt that he must take a violent action, so he stood up.
"Read the opening of the Quran to me."
The other person began reading fast.
"No, not like this. I want it slowly and correctly."
"You talk about divine and you cannot read the Quran correctly. Go and wash your butt, then come and talk to me!"
The other person slapped Kamel on the face.
At this moment Kamel held the man’s head under his arms tightly so the other person could hardly breathe. Then, at one movement, he dropped on his knees with the other person’s head under his legs.
"Try the pain now."
"Please for sake… God!"
"I do not want to see you here again."