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POISON PIE!

By Sue Samlidis

 

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Shelley decided enough was enough!  She hated him!  In fact, she realized she had always hated him, but now he was becoming unbearable!

He had to go!  She vowed to herself. She was going to kill him! ' Poison, that's the answer!  Nice and quick' she said aloud, and with conviction.

There was some rat poison in the kitchen cupboard.  All she needed to do was to lace his next meal and that would be that!  He would be finished!  She smiled with satisfaction and decided she would have a short rest before executing her plans!

Shelley sprawled against the cushions, on a comfortable chair in front of the fire.  She stretched, yawned, and began to daydream about how much better life would be without him.

Ever since, he had moved in with her, he had really got on her nerves!  He had always been very selfish and thoughtless.  He left lots of mess behind him and to make matters worse, he ate all the food, leaving her with the leftovers!

Absently, she stroked her red hair and began to make her plans to get rid of him!

No doubt, he would be home about six, as usual- so predictable, she reflected.

When he came in after a hard day he would undoubtedly start rummaging about for food. Well, tonight she would give him a very nice surprise!  Dinner, served nice and hot- his favorite dish, served with lashings of lovely poison!  Oh, why had she not thought of this before!  She scolded herself.

When he had eaten, she would have the pleasure of watching him die!  She would relish in his horrible death- his beady eyes would be popping out of his puny little head and that disgusting body of his would simply crumple until he lay dead on the floor!  Suddenly, she felt energized and decided she couldn't wait any longer, so she went into the kitchen to prepare the 'last supper'.

Shelley hummed loudly but tunelessly, as she started to grate the cheddar cheese.  How he loved cheese-especially with a nice bit of bacon, baked into a fine golden pie!  She remembered.

She was thoroughly enjoying herself now as she contemplated how wonderful life would be without him! 

She would have the house all to herself again, once he was gone!  With that thought uppermost in her mind, she poured a very generous amount of the rat poison into the mixture that would eventually become the lethal pie!

As she kneaded the dough, a worrying thought occurred to her.  What would she do with the body, once she had killed him?  She pondered this for a while, and then suddenly the answer came to her.  There was a 'grave' at the bottom of the garden, she recalled.  The rabbit, the goldfish, and the guinea pig were buried there!  She would simply dig it up and put his body in with them.  No one would ever know.  Did anyone care about him anyway?  No, she didn't think that he had any friends, so surely nobody would even miss him, she reassured herself.

Shelley glanced nervously at the clock- it was 5.30pm.  He would be home soon, looking old and tired, with an array of those disgusting whiskers on his face.  Oh, how she despised him!

The pie was in the oven and had been baking for about twenty minutes.  The smell of the pastry made her mouth water, but of course, she wouldn't be having any!

She consoled herself by eating a tin of leftover cold meat from the fridge!

Shelley hurriedly set the table, and then took the cheese pie from the oven.  It looked very inviting indeed.  She was extremely pleased with the outcome.  She could hardly contain herself as she waited for his return.

At last, Shelley heard the familiar sound of the back door creaking noisily, as it slowly opened.

There he stood before her, white faced, with those beady brown eyes that she hated so much!

Immediately, he noticed the delicious pie, so he took his place at the table.

Without speaking, he started to eat greedily, while Shelley busied herself at the kitchen sink.

Finally, he had eaten every scrap of the meal, until all that was left, were a few crumbs on that hairy chin!  Shelley looked at him expectantly, but he just peered back at her, and began looking around for more food!

Minutes later, it began suddenly-he began to screech loudly as Shelley looked on with a cunning expression upon her soft face.  She knew, from his tortured, haunted face that he was about to die!

His body and face began to twitch uncontrollably and he struggled to breathe.

He coughed and he spluttered, and his eyes bulged menacingly He continued to writhe and to struggle for air until, at last, he lost the fight, and he lay as still as a stone.

Shelley let out a loud sigh of relief.  At last it was over- he was gone- forever!

' Dead ' Shelley exclaimed loudly ' Dead, that horrible rat, that she Shelley the cat had loathed so much!!

Calmly, she carried his body, with her teeth of course, to the bottom of the garden, where she buried him, along with her other victims!