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THE NONSENSE STORY

By ANDY COLEMAN

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    Once upon a time, a magical helicopter was bought by a rich farmer.  The
farmer flew his whirlybird wherever he went; that wasn't very far.  He flew
it once every three minutes every day and night until he found that he
couldn't anymore.  When he found this out, he saw why.  The Russian
sattellite "Sputnik IV" crashed right into him when he was flying it.  He
couldn't take the separation from his magical helicopter and died.

    Shortly after the farmer died, a deranged boy decided to see what fire
tasted like.  All of his friends gathered around to see him be stupid.  He
lit a stick, put it in his mouth, and said, "It tastes like... burning."
After that, he promptly died.

    Afterwards, about four thousand annoying jerks did the world a big favor
and jumped off a cliff, thinking they were going to hit some water -- only
to find that they landed on jagged rocks, glass shards, cacti, knives,
needles, and other sharp objects.  They died quickly enough.

    After all of these events happened, the author of this story was dragged
off to the looney bin to be put away for life.  The reason for this was
being a little TOO creative with his writing.