"On the charges of manslaughter,
we the jury, find the defendant..."
Kylie Machelli stood beside her
lawyer in a state of blank. At this moment she knew her mind should be clear,
that she should be focusing but she wasn't, she no longer cared.
"Not guilty."
The words seemed to drift through
the court room like a thick fog. There were a few gasps and what seemed like a
million whispers in the air. Kylies parents, Carol and Bill, pulled her close
for a tight embrace which she reacted to with emptiness. Mrs. Green then
opened her arms and Kylie nearly fell in them, she was the only one who could
understand the pain she felt. Her lawyer then pulled her close for a hug,
smiling brightly and said "we did it" proudly.
Kylie remembered what Drew had
said about lawyers once. He stated that they hold you and smile at the person
they defend every time, not for their freedom but for their own selfish
victory. Drew also said nearly every time they say "we" did it, but they mean
"I", it's all about image.
Nonetheless, Kylie had gratitude
though it could barely seep through her and sadness within her true tragedy.
Carol again pulled her daughter close into her arms and in the faintest
whisper Kylie told her mother she was ready to leave. They started to make
their way down the aisle, catching stares, hearing the latest rumor begin.
She, her parents, and their lawyer were trying to rush out of one crowd but to
only meet another. The media would only be so anxious right outside the court
room, and even more to deal with outside of the court house. There would be
ten thousand questions being thrown in her direction from the circle of
reporters that would soon attack.
Her mother to her side with her
arm wrapped in her daughters, scared to let her go. Her father right behind
with his hand on Kylies shoulder, their lawyer in front asking people to give
her some room, kindly, of course.
"I know my son did wrong."
A woman's voice yelled within the
crowd.
"I know what he did, and I know
that you know as well."
Kylie joined the others trying to
find where the woman was. A lady, who appeared much older then she really was,
stepped out a few feet from the Machelli's. Everyone's eyes now stuck on this
woman. The lady's black hair with streaks of silver gray and eyes that
appeared completely restless, stare at Kylie with anger.
"My son cried to me first, he
confessed to me. I know that he didn't attack you, I know you had no right to
kill him."
The woman's tired, sad eyes
glued to Kylie, acting as if they were the only two people in the room.
Someone behind ran out of te court room and Kylie saw the flashes of the
cameras on the lady's face. She covered her eyes for a moment but then the
door was again shut.
"He was already the suspect, he
was going to confess, but jail wasn't good enough for you. Timothy's remorse
was killing him slowly anyway, he didn't even know why he did it, but he was
willing to serve his time."
She started to walk towards
Kylie but security took a step out and made themselves known. Kylie glanced to
the man, then back to the woman who had drawn still.
"I know that he hurt you, I know
that he took that young man's life."
The woman's lip quivered as she
whisked away two salty tears.
"But two wrongs don't make a
right."
The woman said firmly.
"If Timothy was alive he would be
going to prison for murder right now, so I don't understand how you just get
to go home."
Her voice faded and crackled in
the end. The woman went to walk to her again and before security took another
step Kylie put up her hand. It was okay, Kylie wanted this woman in her face
and if she did have a weapon, Kylie only hoped security wouldn't stop it. As
the woman got closer to her she wondered what would it be. A gun? A knife? A
brick? Where would it be? Her face? Her chest? Her throat? How long would it
take to die? Will it be quick?
There they finally were, face
to face. Timothy's mother looked at Carol, then looked down till she brought
her eyes back to Kylies. Kylie's eyes drifted left to right in Hannah Perry's
eyes. Her knees were growing weak, her hands began to tremble. I'm coming
my love, she told herself. In a way it felt completely natural, but
within this was fear.
"You have no right to leave, he
didn't touch you and you know it."
Hannah said softly.
"I know you loved that boy, I
read about your past with him in the newspaper. I see in your eyes that you
loved him very much and still do. I loved my son very much too. Before this he
was perfect, a wonderful son, a wonderful person."
Kylie wanted to shake her head
and disagree aloud, but she held it in.
"Inside of you, you must know
this is wrong. You have to know that you deserve a punishment, my Timothy
should still be here!"
"No..."
Kylie whispered very low, so soft
she could barely hear it herself.
"I hate him, I hate him so much
it still hurts."
Kylie exhaled, making sure that
nobody heard her.
"Okay, I think this has gone on
long enough."
Mr. Wallace, The Machelli family
lawyer, said stepping in.
"Now I am very sorry about your
loss Ms.Perry, I truly am. By law, my client can walk out of here an innocent
young lady, so please excuse us."
Kylie wanted to fight her lawyer
but didn't struggle as he pulled her arm lightly. They were only a few steps
away when they heard a small noise followed by more gasps and a few screams.
Kylie stopped and turned slowly, only to see that a gun was pointed at her
head.
"Put the gun down!"
A security officer yelled,
pointing his gun at her, but Ms.Perry kept full concentration on Kylie. Her
hand trembling, her sweaty palm and fingers gripping the gun tightly.
"It isn't fair! Why would my son
be walking the other way in hand cuffs and you just get to go home?"
She yelled with tears streaming
down her face.
"Ms.Perry, please?"
Kylie's mother gasped.
"She is my only child, please put
the gun down, please?"
Hannah's lip whimpered over
Kylies mothers plea for her daughters life.
"He was my only child too, and
your daughter took him from me! She took him!"
The people on the side were
backing up, crouching on the floor in front of the benches. Mr. Wallace's face
had gone pale white and her parents crying. Kylie just stared into the gun,
waiting for a bullet to fly out. I'm coming Drew, I'm on my way, any
moment now, any moment. Her stomach began to turn, her pulse began to
race.
"You belong in jail! Murderers go
to jail and that's what you are, you weren't defending yourself."
Kylie stared deep into this
mothers face, her sadness was so intense. Hannah's watered up eyes now grew
weak with grief and heart ache, pieces of her soul strolling down her face.
Kylie was semi eager, very nervous but she understood. She understood Ms.
Perry's concept of thinking, she was getting ready to kill for love, as Kylie
already had.
She then wondered if Timothy
felt the way she did now. If he wanted to die too when death was placed in
front of him. Then a look went through Hannah's face, an unfamiliar look to
Kylie, for that expression didn't cross her face that fatal night.
"I, I can't do this Kylie
Machelli."
She said still aiming the gun.
"I know that God's eyes are on me
now, watching, waiting. He's waiting right now to see where he will place me
on my judgment day."
Ms. Perry sniffed, wanting to
wipe her eyes but keeping the gun aimed at her sons murderer.
"I don't want him to look at me
the way he looked at Timothy, the way he'll look at you. I want him to look at
me the way he did Drew Green because like him, I will die with a clear
conscious and a clean soul."
Kylie felt a small panic attack,
her breath kept getting heavy and then it would fade.
"Your parents may still see you
as their pride and joy. People on the street may give you more respect and
women may congratulate you for your defensive. The law, this jury, this court,
this whole country may find you innocent."
Ms. Perry shook her head.
"But I know who you are, you know
who you are and don't think for that moment that God turned away. In God's
eyes Ms. Machelli..."
She lowered her gun and went to
speak but security flew at her as Kylies parents pulled her back. Security put
the hand cuffs on Hannah as police made their way over.
"Wait!"
Kylie yelled out as they began to
walk Ms. Perry in the other direction. They stopped and the two women's eyes
met but once again. She went to speak but the words got stuck in her throat,
but Hannah already knew her question.
"In God's eyes Kylie you are now
only marked as a murderer, someone who broke their innocence but taking
another's life. I will make you a deal though for the after world."
Hannah stopped for a moment.
"If you promise to tell Timothy
that I will love him forever, then I will promise to tell Drew you said the
same."
Kylie shook her head, she felt
frantic. She looked to the side to see her mothers hand holding her arm but
she couldn't feel it. Her feet felt as if they were cement.
"I wanna tell him, I'm gonna tell
him myself."
This time Hannah shook her head.
"Your not going to where he is."
That was it, they then pulled Ms.
Perry away and Kylie watched until she was out of sight.
"Oh honey are you okay?"
Her father asked but Kylie stayed
in silence.
"Come on Ky, let's go home."
Kylie turned slowly and walked
again with the three. The doors opened and Kylie blocked her eyes from the
bright lights of the cameras.
"Ms. Machelli how do you feel?
What are your plans now? What happened with Ms. Perry? Do you feel as if
justice was served? How do you feel about your daughters case? Kylie, what
happened?..."
It was like she had planned, a
million questions all at once, not one giving her the chance or the time to
answer. It was okay because she didn't have any of the answers, she barely had
any words. Her lawyer stopped and answered a few as the family continued the
struggle amongst the insanity.
A brisk wind blew as the
finally made it outside of the court house. Kylie kept her head down as her
parents guided her through the third crowd and then across the parking lot.
Bill opened the passenger side and the back door first.
"It's okay hun, soon things will
calm down and go back to normal."
Kylie wished that she could
believe her mother but she knew it wasn't true. Nothing would ever be like
before.
Her father shut his door and
started the car.
"It's all over now Kylie. You
never have to come back here again, it's a good day."
Bill gave his daughter a sweet
smile and she faked the best one that she could back.
Kylie looked out the window and
her eyes drifted to the sky. The clouds were all dark gray and not a sign of
the sweet blue or the sun could be seen. Today she could go home and not think
about the trial, the courtroom, the jury that handed her fate. She should be
able to celebrate justice and freedom. As that thought began Ms. Perry's voice
broke in.
If I were to be celebrating
my freedom, shouldn't the sun be out? If justice was served, shouldn't the sky
be it's brightest blue?
"In God's eyes Kylie you are now
only marked as a murderer..."
Kylie felt the smidge of shine
left in her eyes leave as Hannah's words echoed through her head. It was true.
The world may believe the lie and all though Kylie thought she was the only
one who knew the truth, God knew. How could he grace the sky with beauty? A
killer is loose.
"What's wrong Kylie?"
She turned to see her mother
looking at her.
"You look so sad."
Kylie half smiled.
"I'm fine, just a little tired."
Her parents glanced at each other
and then Carols eyes went back to their daughter.
"Kylie, I hope you didn't pay
much attention to what that woman said to you. She's just hurt sweetie, she
needs someone to blame and it's easier to blame someone you don't know, then
someone that you love."
"It was anger talking talking Ky,
I'm sure deep down she knows the truth, this isn't your fault."
Her father added.
Kylie nodded, then looked down.
They pulled to a red light and Bill turned and took his daughters hand.
"Kylie, when God calls you home,
Drew will be right there waiting for you."
She looked into her parents eyes.
They believed in her so much, her and her innocence. At that moment she was
ready to confess, she wanted that look to leave their eyes, she didn't deserve
it. She struggled with the words but the only ones that came told her father
it was a green light.
It was only fifteen minutes
later when they pulled into their drive way. All their neighbors approached
the car smiling with plates and bowls of food in their hands. Kylie thanked
them then excused herself leaving her parents outside.
"Riggs... Riggs!"
She yelled out, her puppy ran
around the corner and jumped up on her leg. Kylie leaned over and pet her
playful puppy, rubbing his ears as he nibbled on her shirt. Drew bought Riggs
when he was only two months old, he made a special deal with the owner and the
bottle fed the puppy. She named him after Mel Gibsons character in Lethal
Weapon. Now Riggs was eight months old.
"Come on boy, let's go upstairs."
Kylie walked up the staircase as
Riggs leaped behind. He was the last gift that Drew ever gave her. She got to
the top and went for the guest room then stopped. She looked to the side, a
little down the hall and stared at her bedroom door.
"Kylie and Drew's Room
Kylie loves Drew loves Kylie
forever."
That was the poster that he
made for their bedroom door. Drew lived with them for two and a half years
prior to his death. They were both saving money to move out of state, get a
nice apartment and start a life of their own. Kylie walked to her bedroom door
and rubbed her fingers softly over the poster. She hadn't been in there since
Drew died. Her parents had to go in, pack Kylies things and move them to the
guest room.
She put her hand to the
doorknob and started to turn, gulping softly as if there were something to
fear. There was and Kylie stopped. She could sit beside Drews tombstone for
hours, she could lie in the guest bed and talk to him. If she goes in that
room she'll have to pack his clothes and possesions. She'd have to look at the
posters he drew, the letters he wrote, the pictures of him and them together.
Kylie could see that Drew was dead but she couldn't feel it. It wouldn't click
inside but if she goes in there it would, and it wasn't something she was
ready to deal with yet.
"Kylie?"
She gasped and turned quickly.
It was her best friend Sarah, who had jumped back alittle and was now playing
nervously with her fingers.
"I didn't mean to scare you."
Kylie nodded and once again faked
a smile.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't be
there today Ky..."
"It's okay."
She said softly.
"I wanted to, I really did but my
boss said I took off to much time already. I told you everything was going to
be fine though."
Kylie nodded again.
"Were you gonna go in?"
"Oh, uh..."
Kylie laughed a little and took a
few steps away from the door.
"No, I was just uh, I saw the
poster and..."
She put her hand to her head, words didn't want to flow, they kept getting
stuck.
"And I just remembered the day he
made it, got caught up in a memory, that's all."
Kylie said with another light and
nervous laugh. She knew her grief was beginning to show but maybe she could
hide the sadness just a little deeper.
"Yeah..."
Sarah stopped for a second,
staring at the poster.
"He was such a great artist, he
could draw like... everything."
Kylie glanced back at it and
nodded.
"God, I miss him so much."
Sarah said looking down. Kylie
could see Sarah's tears falling and looked down as well.
Drew and Sarah were great
friends as well. All though she wanted to comfort her friend, she couldn't.
She couldn't comfort Drew's parents, her parents, or their friends when they
cried for Drew, she still hadn't.
When she found out she fell
quiet, motionless, staring into what ever was placed in front of her. At the
wake, The Greens asked The Machellis to sit with the family and they did. She
wouldn't go up to say her final good-byes, she wouldn't stand before she shook
peoples hands. At the funeral Kylie just stood surrounded by tears, muffled by
sobbing, but walked away before they put him under ground. Drew had only been
dead now for five months, but it's still been five months since Kylie cried.
Kylie leaned against the wall
and remained looking down. Sarah cried for a few minutes then calmed herself
down when she looked at her friend.
"It's not good for you Kylie, you
were with him for years. You two were more in love then anyone I've ever
known, so I know you need to cry."
She waited for a reaction.
"Nobody is that strong."
Sarah whispered.
Kylie kept her head down, without
a sound.
"Kylie, you don't have to be
strong for everyone else. I mean do you at least cry when your alone?"
No reaction.
"Let's sit down in your room Ky,
and talk about all the great times we had with Drew. We can eat junk food, and
laugh and cry together, you'll feel better I know you will."
Kylie stayed in the same
position, she thought about it for a second but still it didn't feel like the
right time.
"Kylie do you hear me?"
"I'm fine Sarah, I don't need to
feel better."
Kylie went to walk away but Sarah
took her arm.
"Kylie, we have to deal with this
okay. I know it hurts..."
Kylie pulled her arm away with
fury in her eyes.
"No, no you don't."
"I don't want to go in there! I
don't want to!"
She screamed, pointing at her
bedroom door.
"I am not ready!"
"You have no clue what I'm going
through. I had my whole future planned and everything included Drew. I don't
know why I haven't cried, maybe everything hasn't gone through, I don't know."
Sarah looked down, and Kylie
inhaled to calm herself down. Kylie looked over and saw her mother at the top
of the stairs with a concerned look.
"Mom, please?"
Her mother nodded and turned
around to go down the stairs.
Kylie looked at Sarah for a
second then she looked down again and whispered,
"I am just not ready Sarah, but
I'll know when it's the right time to let go, okay?"
Sarah nodded, then the two hugged
for what seemed a cold second. When they pulled a part, Sarah looked at Kylie
with a certain expression in her eyes.
"I better get going, um..."
She bit her bottom lip then
smiled a little.
"You wanna maybe do something
tomorrow?"
"Yeah, maybe."
They both nodded, said good-bye
then sarah was gone. Kylie knew the look, she'd seen it in her own eyes
looking in the mirror. It was the look of change, distance, recognizing that
things aren't like before and probably never will be. It was scary to see that
look for the first time from her family, her best friend, her friends but it
was the worst seeing it in herself. Kylie went into the guest room and Riggs
followed, shutting the door behind her.
Riggs lay on Kylies lap and
she rubbed his stomach.
"It's me and you now Riggs."
She said softly.
Kylie lay back with her head
on the pillow, staring around the dark room. It was only 4:30 P.M but she felt
so tired.
"Kylie?"
Carol said knocking on the door
then letting herself in.
"Is there anything special that
you want for dinner? Anything you want."
" No thanks ma, I'm not really
hungry. I'm gonna rest my eyes for awhile though."
"Is everything alright with you
and Sarah?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"Okay."
She said softly and then went to
shut the door.
"I love you Kylie, very much."
"I love you too."
Kylie said, turning on to her
side.
The last crack of light
vanished as the door shut. She wanted to say sorry to everyone for her
attitude, her withdrawl, her distance and her sadness. Kylie thinks that when
she gets her strength back she could fight it, fight the darkness that
swallowed her whole. Just not now.
She lay in that bed for over
three hours just staring into nothing. She ignored the knocks on the door, the
ringing of the phone and everybody downstairs that had come to celebrate.
Kylie felt a certain emptiness running through her veins like blood. She could
feel this, it was cold. There was loneliness seeping through her skin and
taking over her body, yet a resistance of letting anyone close. This terrible
nothing was replacing what she worked so hard to become. This wasn't the way
things were suppose to go, she expected bumps in the road but now she hit a
dead end. Kylie worked so hard to be that honest, loyal, faithful, caring,
loving and compassionate woman. Now who was she?
"In God's eyes Kylie you are now
only marked as a murderer."
